I feel like im 16 again. Hiding in my room with the music on loud so i dont have to listen to my parents argue.
They have both been drinking. I think its prob best if i start to look for my own place. This environment isnt healthy for me.
So last night my Step Dad or S proper snapped at mum for like no reason what so ever and i told her today id felt awkward about it. Mum just came in and was like tell S what happened last night. And i said no im not getting involved and he was going thank you love as if i had chosen his side and i said no dont thank me im not picking sides, mum tried to say more and i just said i want the pair of you to leave me alone.
When is enough enough? I have my friend coming over from america to stay for a while, i cant have her stay here and listen to arguments.
No wonder my anxiety is worse in the nights, im on egg shells waiting for the explosives. Could stay at my dads but that would have to be temporary because he’s since a loner that too much time with someone even his daughter isnt ideal for him.
I feel so alone right now. I cant tell my sister because shes got enough on her plate right now and shes already stopped the kids from going to my nans because of my coke addict cousin. So if i bring this to her, she’ll say the kids cant come up here but then am i putting their safety at risk? Mums not an alcoholic shes alcohol dependant. She can go a night or two without booze but she still has to drink, always after 7pm for some reason. Its a problem when your hiding your booze.
As if i dont have enough on my plate, im having nightmares every night about lucifer. Im waking up either tensed up or shaking like im having a fit. Ive got the criteria for fibromyalgia because of the pain in my ankle, knee, back and wrist.
I feel like im swimming in the deep end and i dont know how to swim out.
Happy Reading Bitches!